It appears that a 3hr layover isn’t enough time to xfer my bag in DEN; now they’ll have to deliver it 2.5 hrs away, negating ticket revenue

iPhone penetration may be in single digits, but iPhones make up at least 1/2 of phones *in use* at Denver airport

Getting ready to board my second long-haul flight in a tiny plane in less than 24h. Who at SABRE did I inadvertently tick off?

Just once, I want to find an ecommerce site with a button labelled “insecure checkout”

Trying to figure out if Eliza http://bit.ly/ThrCF is working for Comcast now http://bit.ly/cJQL2t

My father, on internet scams

From my father:

Bill,

It’s hard to believe that people actually respond to those emails from Africa, or wherever, that want to get into one’s bank account. Apparently they do get a response now and then or they wouldn’t keep sending them. They come in through my spam box almost daily. I’ve always deleted them but recently decided to see how much money I’m ‘losing’…..

Since January 18 I have given up:

65,460,000 US Dollars
2, 546, 000 British Pounds
35,000 bbls of oil

Signed,
Your ‘poverty stricken’ Dad

Folded in half at 30,000 feet

So how long until the airlines give up on seats entirely, and make planes ‘standing room only’, with folding chair rental for an extra $25? I can see it now, hundreds of people packed into an Airbus 319, holding onto leather straps dangling from the ceiling, briefcases and backpacks sliding to and fro with every lumpy cloud.

Actually, that’d be kind of nice for us tall guys.



Warning: tall guy whine
Being 6’6” (1.98m), I’ve had my share of ‘tall guy folded into the seat’ experiences. And after a million plus miles in the sky, I’ve worked out a whole set of workarounds for the ‘not enough legroom’ problem. But there’s a raft of other stuff that never gets mentioned, and I’m here to make sure it sees the light of day.

Take, for instance, that nice big comfortable headrest that cradles your head while you sleep. Why, there’s one right here in 14A on my Airbus A319, non-adjustable and poking me right in the middle of the back, creating a gnawing pain that won’t go away until after the second trip to the minibar tonight.

Big tube TVs
And how about those nice big tube TVs - always in eerie color misalignment - hanging down from the ceiling? Well, let me tell you a story. It’s late on a Friday night, and we’re getting off a United flight at Chicago O’Hare. It’s the early 1990’s, the plane is two hours late, it’s snowing outside, and it’s full of pissed off people in business suits.

I’m in row 24, my bag is somehow stuck in the overhead bin, and while I’m panting and swearing and yanking on it the crowd behind me is starting to get restless and nasty. With a massive pull, something gives, and only then I notice that every single person in front of me has already left the plane.

Sweaty, frustrated, and a bit embarrassed, I grab my bag and take a massive step forward - only to run face-first into the TV, knock myself out, and hit the floor in a heap of wool trench coat, suit, laptop bag, and roll-on bag. I come to several seconds later, only to see the legs of the suit behind me as he’s trying to step, well, through me on his way to the front of the plane.

Dangerous solutions
And I’ve also noticed that whenever I get onto a plane, the first person to put their seat all the way back is invariably directly in front of my seat. Usually during takeoff, and until the very last minute before landing. But one time, I got my revenge. Another Friday night flight, this time a commuter, with the tightest seat spacing I’ve ever seen.

While taking off, dirtbag in front of me puts his seat all the way back, so where I have - literally - about 8 inches of room between my nose and his pasty white bald spot. I mean, a commanding front row view, much like the first lunar mission must have felt just before impact. And he didn’t move the seat, at all, even during the beverage service, even after I asked him to.

So I did what any five-year-old kid would do. I drank my drink, picked up a piece of ice and held it until my hand was very wet, faked a sneeze, and flicked the water all over that giant expanse of pasty white scalp. And it worked. Instantly. He moved his seat to the full and upright position, and left it there for the rest of the flight.

Watch your head
Speaking of commuter flights, there’s a whole host of new things to watch out for with the smaller planes. Like the tiny doorways: I’ve had more than one flight attendant say “watch your chin” while boarding (granted, it is kind of interesting to look over the top of a plane while boarding). And you probably haven’t noticed, but one of the commuter plane models has a small LED protruding from the ceiling between rows 2 and 3. Yup, I’ve buried that thing in my head a time or two.

About those workarounds
But with all adversity, there’s always a solution or two. For all of you kids in the middle of a growth spurt, here’s a few time-worn methods for sitting in the back of the plane:

Cross your legs at the ankles and pull them as far back towards your body as you can, then put your laptop directly on your lap

Put your carry-on bag under your knees, extend your legs forward under the seat ahead of yours, and put laptop on your lap

Or when all else fails, put your knees together and firmly against the back of the seat ahead of you, and yelp when they try to push it back; this, surprisingly, actually works about 40% of the time

And, surprise, a brighter side
But there’s a silver lining or two. Riding in the back of a compact car suddenly seems spacious. And, if you’re standing in the restroom - hands occupied with the process - and you hit turbulence - you can just wedge your head firmly into the corner of the ceiling to maintain your balance.

Final word
And, as a final word, United’s extra legroom class just makes me mad. Do like American does, and spread the love throughout the plane, would you, guys?

will the iPad be multiuser? e.g. different configs for different people on the same device? or will my kids ruin all my high scores?

Any good applet for the Mac that denotes Spotlight Comments somewhere inline within the Finder, maybe as a little flag on the icon?